"What exactly is We Are The They?"... This is a question that I am getting asked a lot these days, usually followed up by "what the hell are these posts that keep popping up on my feed?" It's a tricky question even for me to answer. Sometimes I say it's a "Men's Coaching Group," sometimes I say it's a "Brotherhood," and sometimes I say it's a "Movement."
It is hard for me to describe because there is nothing like it that I've ever seen and nothing similar that has been created. Logistically, it's a group of men committed and dedicated to each other and themselves. They are committed to being authentic, vulnerable, and in integrity.
To achieve this, we all get together weekly on a coaching call and learn new ways to show up as better husbands, fathers, sons, brothers, and friends. We are committed to a process, and time is our friend, but the direction we are moving is always the same. We give ourselves permission to screw up, have moments of weakness, and fall... As long as we get back up. When I launched this program last October, I knew the impact it could have on the lives of these men. I initially limited the program to 50 men because I wanted to create a bond between them, knowing that they would need to rely on each other to have the courage and strength to become a man of integrity. I've been to enough events and masterminds to know that more than 50 would have made it challenging to feel safe and connect on a deep level.
Since the launch, this group has committed and dove all into the program. Ten areas of life one need to master to be the designer of his own life truly and to have fulfillment in all areas of life. We are only on the third part of ten of this program, but the changes are tangible for every one of these men. We cover it all: mindset, health, finances, leadership, social dynamics, and relationships. There is a reason I named the group "WE Are The They" and not "I" am the they. The hardest thing for men in this time of life is finding space to take off that masculinity mask and be seen for who they are. We live in a society that makes it tough to admit we are going through things, have problems in our lives, and feel lonely at times. We mask it with work, golf, sports, pornography, self-sabotage, alcohol, and drugs, but those distractions are just the average man trying to feel love, feel like he is enough, and feel like his life matters.
Over the past 7 to 8 years, I explored every aspect of life. I reconstructed my entire belief system in God, purpose, family, happiness, and fulfillment. I hired the top coaches, mentors, and teachers. Thankfully I also had amazing friends to surround myself with and learn from and I read over 500 books in 10 years. I attended every event, mastermind, and retreat that I could get my hands on. Through all of that, I truly learned that I am enough. I found that all the love I was seeking outside of myself was within me the whole time. I made radical changes in some areas and subtle ones at other times. I knew I was on to something, but I still wasn't sure what it was. Two and half years ago, I had an epiphany that I needed to do more with my life. It was as clear as day. I had no idea what it was, but I knew I was being called to do something more than just selling real estate and throwing amazing parties.
One of my mentors has worked with me on this ever since, and eventually, I realized that I needed to help people go through this exact process that had helped me so much. I still didn't feel qualified to do it. Then one day, I was in a meditation and while my friend Baya was guiding me through it, she asked me a question that gave me the answer I needed. "Jimmy, who reaches out to you? What do they ask for?" It was so obvious. There were two things that I was always getting DM'd about. 1. You seem to do what you want in life; I see you traveling and going to do amazing things. I feel stuck, can you help?" and 2. Where can I find a group of friends like you guys have?" Immediately I knew that this was where I could help out. I've always been able to bring great men together and I knew instantly that this needed to be a men's coaching group. The imposter syndrome was gone immediately. From that day forward, I started to work on this project and six months into it, I feel stronger than ever that I have found the exact calling I was supposed to have. I can't change anybody, but I know exactly how to set up the container so that others can change themselves. I know how to collect amazing people and get them together so that they can augment their own lives and build lifelong friendships and memories. So yes, "We Are The They" is a coaching program. Yes, it's a brotherhood. But really, it's the beginning of a movement. My biggest regret was that when I first launched this program, I only had 50 spots, and in 9 hours, I received 145 applications. I knew I had tapped into something special. I knew that thousands of men, millions really, were feeling alone or wanting to get over that little bump in the road that stood in the way of who they wanted to be. My favorite part of this past six months is that I now have 50 walking billboards that show what we are doing here is working. I have 50 men training and working to be leaders in this movement to help me bring it to thousands of other men. WE want to do it and we know the benefits of helping others and having friends and brothers hold us accountable. We know that there isn't anyone else coming to do it in this world. There is no they... We Are The They.